Friday, November 25, 2005
He still shouldnt said in those sarcastic tone!
Fuck! who do he think he is?
i feel like hating him here n ryt now!!!!
i needed a machine which can take away my sorrows. my pain.
i couldnt take it anymore.
i thot im doin very well but i was wrong.
now back on my knees. yeah go on laugh at me!
i feel so futile to even think abt wat im goin thru now.
my love life sucks. so does my sch life.
my work life almost equal to my love life.
i shouldnt hav fall so easily n now serve me ryt.
im seriously so down like i feel like how i wish i could turn back time.
i need help.am i a psycho? or am i too depressed?
i told him a million times i need time n he still destroy my long piece of precious time.
he couldnt wait nor he can accept the fact.
i sure hate the feeling of being looked down.
am i wrong? even if i am, im still oways weak.
i do hav feelings. im tired of being strong n pretending everything is ok.
becos everyone said its ok,its ok.
but u noe its not!
and i keep pretending pretending..
bet u dunno how i felt ryt now.
so cheated.so painful.
wat im feeling ryt now is like a heart which has been pierced a million times.
tOo hurt like i couldnt even feel it anymore.
tears has dry up soring my puffy eyes,which i couldnt stand now.
everything seems like a total disaster.EVERYWHERE I go!
in this world,there real and made-believe..
how i wish all these things r made-believe..
to the ppl who hav made me into wat i am now,i wanna say..
u dunno u at all.no u dun.
i swear u dun. u judged me as wat i am in front of u.
believing ur eyes watching my every steps of my acting.
im played the role of the happy-go-lucky girl.
giving u problems,got no feelings.
heartless.cruel.bad.mean.
yeah tats wat i am mayb to ur made-believe by ur beautiful eyes.
but too bad u r WRONG!
totally are..!!
wateva i am bhind those eyes didnt reveal the truth cos it has nvr shud b.
im pathetic if u may call it but i dun care anymore.
those pain counted more than my fingers themselves hav in fact numb my thoughts and feelings.
wat i wrote n thot ryt now might not b wat i will think tmr or the nxt day.
but is wat i can express how i feel now.
all i can say now is..
wateva gonna happen to me,dun ever ever stop me.
becos u dun hav the ryt anymore.
i hav to do dis for my own good if not,i can die.
u've heard me.MY OWN GOOD.selfish me.
darn~its for our own good ok! YOU and ME!
tOo bad i noe those ppl cant read dis post of mine but hah!
too bad then.they will b wondering y the hell i bhave this way when it really happen.
its their disadvantage then! wth.ryt now im gonna sign off wid an endless pain.. -Nadya Filan-
stitch rocked @ 6:15 PM
name: Nadia Rifhan AKA Nadya Filan Angel
