Wednesday, March 15, 2006
ok u see the time now~ i shud b sleeping now.
i cant bliv i cant sleep tonite. im not sleepy at all.
weird woohoo~ its like hello! obviously there's something in my head.
in fact not something - many things. damn!
i got all my answers which i wanted to noe all these while but im not happy at all.
i dun think u noe wat im talking abt but both answers arent that good either.
hav disadv. and adv. but not all i cant accept.
im sorry its me its me who is to blame. i swear i didnt noe.
if i did, i wouldnt hav lead u on. but again i didnt noe. so stop it nad.
thank u for everything..and im sorry..u noe how much i really wanna say sorry to u. i was depressed after everything n now that i couldnt sleep. haiz i cant stop saying sorry.
i really do. im really sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...
fuck! i hav to move on n i hav to - no choice. i hope i dun lose u fren.
but i couldnt fulfill ur wish. shit. i dun wanna say it anymore.he called at last. i was glad but hurt deeply.
yeah im stupid. love a guy who has nvr been there 4me.
nvr. but wtf i fall hard already. but i hav plans already.
the thing is, i must keep telling myself i can n i must do it.
good luck to me. oh god i oways neeed u.
i miss u darling ~zhihou. hope ur ok there. b good yeah.
hmm..abg came back into my life n im thankful i've found him.
but i swear i dun wanna trouble anyone anymore.
im gonna stand on my own feet. i must i must!!!
oh yeah~he made me cry. and i was disappointed.
weird huh? i wanna b happy but i ended up being sad n disappointed.
fuck. tmr im working in the morning n u see? i cant even sleep a wink.
i was tossing ard here n there since 2am n now its almost an hour.
btw cousin,im sorry i couldnt talk much with ya just now. i miss u.
wahh i couldnt even think wat to wear tmr. i just dunno wat else to do.i hav started to cover up my bitterness by showing my fucking straight face.
its painful to think on how im gonna survive for the rest of the month.
and u noe wat? its only the middle of the month n im broke. very broke.
eventho i got the pocket money but i couldnt survive enuff on my ezlink n food.
i couldnt stop eating cos im stress. everyday noes that.
truthfully,i did not hav the money to even eat just now at the hospital after visiting jasmine. jerry bought food for me n i felt paisey. i wanna pay him but im broke but wat to do? im fucking hungry. and the gift we bought for jasmine, i havent even pay jerry.
im sorry fren, i'll pay u nxt month ok? im sorry.
actually at work, i only survived on chocs n polar puffs.
i drank 2 cans of soya bean to make me full. bcos of the word BROKE.
nabey..i thot at the hospital i can avoid frm eating, but xueli keep saying she wanna eat. so we hav to go to the foodcourt. and damn~i couldnt resist. so thank u jerry.
to abg - thanks to u too. i owe u alot man. debts huh nad? siow ar u! die better!
haahaa..i better earn n pay them back if not..i die n pay them wid my cpf money haha.
crazy thot but wise ryt? ok im goin siow n crazy n nuts now.
listening to punk emo rock songs makes it worst but i love it!
yeah im lovin it. haha. ppl~ dun feel sad for me yeah. i dunno how to live.
its like im stupid n dumb. yahoo. i began to hate myself again.
so much for bliving i wanna love myself deeply. go n die!
oh god..im super super down now huh? can see hor?
wahahaha..oh god but i dun want anyone to worry abt me.
ok ok..i'll b okay. i will. really. really really really really.. =)
iwishuponthefullmoonthaticouldturnbacktimetosavemydad
stitch rocked @ 7:16 PM
name: Nadia Rifhan AKA Nadya Filan Angel
