Thursday, September 25, 2008
its fasting month and im not sure why im not looking forward to HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI.definitely, i wanted to c my cousins again.camwhore, eat lontong etc.but i realised we've been doin it every year, the same thing.only the colors of the costumes change.the situations of each individuals change.and the rest is almost the same.*sigh* im not sure why i feel like blabbering, but i just want to. heh.anyways,i havent been well lately. i've been having mood swings and some people haf to tolerate it.nonsensicals; craziness and complications began to take place.i must be too stressed up with the work loads i haf to handle.and i seriously cant wait to start school again.it felt so long, the break. hah!its 7am and i havent slept a wink.i had to clear my room bit by bit.and i kept procastinating my fren's engagement card design.how cruel. i just do not haf the aspirations.pardon me, i feel so SHITTY; f***.my room is worst than a busy messy warehouse.not forgetting my whole house.almost like a pig sty. gosh~everyone's been lazing around.and i had to work. but, todae is my off day!at least i could finish another 2 kinds of cookies todae.and i m heading JB to collect my Hari Raya custom-made outfit.i m a lil excited n worried. what it mite turn out.cos 60% of my experience, it didnt turn out the way i wanted it to be.i even designed n drew it fer them. stupid.haha. so yeah, this part, wish me luck ya.i miss max very much. (when can i see you again?)not forgetting my sista, van. but its so hard to meet up nowadays.haiz. i nvr get to meet the rest at all! ishk.october is coming and im very very worried for my lil'est bro who's gonna retake his o's.he looks calm to me but i m worried.i want him to pass, better than his past results.and pls pls study hard, yaz.days has past so super fast.and i am already in another relationship.i didnt plan it to happen.it just did. hmmmz..and definitely, i didnt hope for it to end.likewise, i take r/ship seriously. i hope u noe wat i mean.only, this time, its a total diff. kind of r/ship.and pls do not start prompting questions.becos i dun even haf the answers to that.or i may not want to know.i had lost a friend a few months back.and i began to get over it.im not sure why its hard, but i almost fight the pain away.it was terrible. just like losing ur own better half.and i've known him for only 2 months.no doubt, he is actually a nice person to b with.but we just cant be friends anymore.but i hope he's gonna fine whreva he is.=)someone posted abt first love.and i m inspired a lil bit.just wanna express my thots, i agreed to half of wat he's saying.no doubt,its nvr easy to forget ur 1st love but to me, 1st love is the only love that makes u realise that it's too hard to begin another love because u fear its gonna happen the same way.but everyone is diff, if u dun giv a chance to urself or the other partner, how the hell u gonna noe its the ryt move or not?my first love was a 4yrs relationship. and i had to live by the fact that we actually broke up after so long together. i haf to get over it. and live still.and i am still living now, arent i?and then another relationship n so on.and it sucks every time it just ended. like, ure not gonna noe who is ryt for u.wtf. age doesnt matter, but after a few years, i still havent get the real answer yet.im not complaining or rush myself for the answer but i do not want u, boy, to feel shitty becos of ur 1st love. i noe u've moved on. she did too. and in a million times, even if it takes a big step to love another person, we , human beings cant blame you at all. we live in a cycle life n live once in a lifetime.we gotta see the world in many pieces, hurt or not, its just part of the combo.learn n live by it. and i noe its not easy.and hey by nature, i understand u because GOD has created both us with the same heart.emotional. =) iloveyoulah!and darling, i noe u wun be getting this,but i just wanna let u noe,thr is nothing much more than what i felt for u.i am still loving u more each day.and if one day, we r not meant to be together, im glad i actually loved you b4.i forgave all my past bfs. and i learnt my lessons so far.thank you GOD.*now i can sleep* taaaaaa.........
stitch rocked @ 6:37 AM
name: Nadia Rifhan AKA Nadya Filan Angel
