My Stitch Can Rock And Roll...

2010-04-20T00:49:00.000+08:00

: TEN MORE DAYS :

2010-02-17T13:32:00.003+08:00

CNY is finally over.

Valentine's day we dun get to celebrate but the fiancee gave me a nice gift =)

I am touched especially the poem n the note he gave me.

anyways,

i got mixed up with the deadlines of projects that i actually suppose to hand in studio project tmr.

damn as it is, i got to buck up and hurry up to get it done.

skipped school todae becos of this!

i have been wanting to watch "caroline" and "persepolis" movies.

hmph.

love love you.

2 more months n 1 day to go!

iamsorryforbeingsuchanuisancetoyourlife

2010-02-06T23:47:00.003+08:00

When school reopens...

When I got engaged

and when the age is growing older,

things are getting so hard and getting out of hand.

nowadays,

health not that good,

less laughters,

more heartbreaks,

etc.

its week 4 for school and im still getting the hang of it.

i have 3 more weeks to finish project 1.

i am soooooooo goin to be ready.

i haf to. I WANT TO.

only, i wish i haf more time and energy to do it.

pls GOD, stay with me.

let me graduate happily.

amin.

i have never forget you.

2010-01-19T00:54:00.005+08:00

oh yes, i didnt announce.

I am officially engaged to ABDUL RAHMAN.

who used to be a best friend of mine.

and he is still now =)

on the 10/01/2010.

im sorry for not inviting, cos it was between family.

and 3 more months~

ahem! im 24!!!

like omg! so fast time flies.

and yes the same timing i'll meet the assessments!

and graduation~ which i cant wait.

BUT there so many things i wanna do,

confused,

lost

and eager.

well~ let's just concentrate on wats happening now.

and the fiancee.

he supports me all the way.

i remember the time,

when i was down with some issues,

he was always there, to cheer me up and BE THERE FOR ME.

guess, its more than that now =)

2 more days to fatimah's 2nd bdae.

and 4 days to her bdae party which i cant wait to attend cos i wonder how the cake look like!

haha..

and i already miss those 2 kids.

and of cos you, my baby big otter angel! =)

2010-01-11T08:55:00.001+08:00

the picture says it all! =)

2010-01-08T00:19:00.004+08:00

Its already 6 months we r together.

And its kinda fast.

I cant wait to graduate.

But sadly, age doesnt stays.

I am going to be 24 this year!

and damn~

I noe this semester gonna be as tough.

Nothing much change:

I still love stitch,

I still love orange color,

I still love unique-ness,

Im still petite,

Im still mad,

Im still attached n NOT available.

*giggles*

anyways,

happy new year &

i hope this year going to be a good year.

my year ~ TIGER! grrrrrr...

hehe..

well~

i see you soon.

iloveyoubaby.

2009-11-09T01:49:00.001+08:00

sorry for not updating.

hehe.

anyway im good.

healthy n fine.

i got 8 more days to assessments and im done!

holidays here i come!

weeeeeee~

gd luck to me!

2009-10-09T01:44:00.003+08:00

i was recovering from the flu.

the cough.

the fever.

and the sore throat.

but then just when i was about to be as normal again,

pain, agony, hurt, criticism greets me.

came into my life suddenly n made me went insane yet again.

today wasn't the best day of my week.

tho i was looking forward to the next day - tomorrow.

i am too disappointed to face the world.

i am too hurt to say anything at all.

the beginning of the day wasn't as great yet random.

middle of the day no comment.

no feelings no nothing.

evening part, i feel like having a slit thru my arm n cry.

i held back my tears.

trying to be brave, trying to be calm.

and i did.

but someone just has to ruin it.

i am beginning to look forward to my future hoping she dun exist anymore.

y? because i m selfish, i am not a good person.

or rather, wishing my life span is short.

either or then.

then the bestie just had to add salt to the cut.

the cut that not yet recover.

which was about to recover.

why all this has to happen today?

all at one shot.

i decided, i am not a good girlfriend, a good daughter and not a good friend at all..

i am sorry for being such a nuisance in your life guys.

i wanna thank you for everything you haf gave me.

anyways, don't ask why after this.

cause i dun want to be there anymore.

i don't want to be anyone's somebody anymore.

i am a nobody now. to everyone.

i hereby, let go of all my strings and ties to everyone i know, love and care.

i m sorry.

i haf to go.

far far away...

2009-10-05T22:52:00.000+08:00

week 10!

ONE more month to go!

for holidays!!

2009-09-14T16:53:00.001+08:00

week 7

and im struggling to finish up my studio projects.

COMEX 2009 was an experience.

i like but the last day sux big time!

6 more days to hari raya aidilfitri!

and i love you still.

2009-09-06T10:46:00.001+08:00

week 6 tmr.

and i m not even halfway thr.

wth.

how how how?

i m sooooooo stressed up!

anyone?

help me =/

2009-09-04T01:10:00.003+08:00

using PMS as an excuse to my bhaviour.

and then apologised.

and then thanks eh.

i love it when u actually mock me.

said those things about me.

said i am SELFISH.

thanks.

half side of the bodyache wasnt enuff to make me suffer.

u just hav to add it up to my heart-ache.

damn~

i've been coping up terribly.

that i couldnt stand on my own feet.

i cant smile much.

i cant concentrate on one thing.

why?

ask urself why.

why i didnt just die when i was born?

i noe everyone haf hard times too.

but wth, mine is now, and i need to do something abt it.

i hate life w people.

i wished life wasnt as hard as this.

money comes from the sky.

everything in a touch of ur hand.

and e world becomes hectic n we die.

yes.

i like.

pls let the pain go away or just take my life.

the rest of u, =X i dun need any comments now.

thank u.

2009-09-01T02:14:00.002+08:00

yes, d boyfie has been transfered to suntec.

it ruined our 2nd monthsary as i tried to buck up n put on a smily face.

but inside, its crushing.

i thought positively, throughout these whole few days..

i guess its eating me too much.

that i sacrificed too much.

for what?

NOTHING.

i became stupid on my own mind.

my own trust n faith.

its only the first day n im down yet again.

tmr is due my recipe project and guess wat?

instead of 70% done,

im done only 40%..

i dun wanna giv up, but im disturbed.

my mood, my inspirations & my health.

well, school comes first.

i must be strong.

ok,dun ask me whether im ok or not.

im not, okay, happy?

2010..pls come fast!

iloveyouwithallmyheart&receivedthisemptypromises.

sometimes, i dunno whether its worth to sacrifice.

2009-08-28T13:29:00.001+08:00

tgif!!

tgif~

skipped lecture due to my stupid attack.

and then now preparing for my fav ppl to come!!

let's go~

2009-08-27T23:23:00.000+08:00

2nd monthsary : =/

spent the evening crying.

dun ask me why.

d day started off not that good.

it was disappointing and keep disappointing.

for the first time this yr, i haf a shortage of money while opening counter!

$6 dollars!!

tho small amount, its breaking my record.

my state of mind was all over the place.

annd the final destination movie SUX big time!

the customer service worst.

good thing i got a refund.

but anyways,

didnt get a good break fast tho.

skipped my dinner.

and broke down.

.................................

thanks bf for being thr for me.

I L Y

had a good supper last nite.

and presented the lil gifft i had prepared earlier today.

and i hope u like it baby.

hmmm

the day ended w great touch and hugs & consoles frm the bf.

thank u.

and i cant wait to c the rest tmr!

youaremyeverything!

2009-08-25T00:34:00.001+08:00

beans beans pls grow.

if not, my teacher will giv up on me.

heh.

one more week to end this recipe project and im stuck.

im dead man.

ok.

stop blogging and eat!

then project.

then the chat w lover n sleeeeeeeeep!

2009-08-24T03:35:00.002+08:00

Le rahman d'abdul de bébé d'enfant mignon, vous m'aimerez toujours demain ?

its a new week.

4th week of school.

1st week of d'fasting month.

and i wanna tell you how much i love you.

bigger than this text,

reallllly.

I L Y

2009-08-17T01:38:00.000+08:00

oh i wish, i do not haf to swim in that situation anymore becos i just cant float anymore.

its devastating to even see the deep water!

and yes, YOU DO NOT HAF TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IM SAYING NOW. =|

new project : recipe

2009-08-14T01:58:00.004+08:00

13th AUG 09 : A HECTIC DAY.

it was so hectic.

i woke up at 7.30am, that's equals to 3 hours of sleep!

and then to work.

started at 9.30am.

i kept myself busy till about 3pm when the nxt shift comes.

and i headed to d make up class, which apparently r compulsory =S

with empty stomach. i got myself a choc ice blended and met SAM at sch.

the make up class was boring, i was sleepy!

damn~ i was head banging the whole period.

ok, sleeping. and biting my fingers.

i was a lil petrified when i saw the new brief my lecturer gav us.

after sch headed back to work.

so yeah, total of 10 hours of work.

it doesnt matter, what matters now is the project due nxt tues.

YES NEXT TUESDAY.

how scary is dat.

despite working tmr, i still m goin to d library n do some research,

whatever i can do to make up to the brief given.

it sux when i haf to b tired again.

after a long period of holiday.

yes, i deserve this. my last year, i haf to do it.

no matter what, i do not actually wish to be the best student around.

but i just wanna graduate with a good cert for a promising future.

so yeah, cutting down on sleeping = SACRIFICE.

good luck to me then.

and now 5hours of sleep. and i m goin to start cracking my head and start sacrificing tmr.

i need your support; friends, family and lover.

thank u, ily.

nites!

2009-08-11T00:39:00.004+08:00

I miss you so much already..

Btw national weekend was exhausting fer me.

watched "orphan" earlier.

it was gory, and i wished i didnt get the front row seats.haha.

it shud b M18 instead of NC16.

heh.

so anyways, the bf works at night,

and i cant help feeling a lil miserable..

todae,later; is my sch's founder day, so no school at all.

working later tho.

18hours more to go baby!

haha.

goodniteypeople

2009-08-07T00:49:00.005+08:00

I was tagged by VANESSA MANAP, my sis. heh :))

1) Are you single or attached ?
Ans : attached to my ONLY angel cutie RAHMAN!

2) Do you have a person you like ?
Ans : who doesnt ryt? of cos, HIM.

3)What is the name of your person you in love with ?
Ans : RAHMAN angel syg ♥ ♥

4)If the person you love and your mother dropped into the sea , who will you save?
Ans : I cant swim, so if can, i'll save both. or they save me haha!

5)Have you hug someone before ?
Ans : YES.

6)Do you love your parents ?
Ans : YES ♥

7)Will you hug the want you love ?
Ans : YES, definitely.

8)Are you willinq to do anything for your boyf/girlf ?
Ans : Up to my strength and as much as i can =)

9)Are you jealous now ?
Ans : NOPE.

10)Who is the last person who msg you ?
Ans : Fadli, AD -> schmate

11)Who is your clique ?
Ans : i dunno. randomz.

12)Do you want babies in future ?
Ans : yes, if can, 2 or 3. hehe.

13)Do you prefer MacDonald , long john silver or KFC ?
Ans : Macdonald

14)Do you sniff glue ?
Ans : NO.

15)Do you smoke ?
Ans : NO.

16)If your boyf /girlf play 2 timer behind you , what will you do ?
Ans : I will play the same game to get back to him. cos im sick and tired of being CHEATED. BUT ANGEL WUN DO THAT, i believe his love for me =)

17)If you're rich , what will you do ?
Ans : GET EEVERYTHING I WANT FOR ME N HIM! support my lilest brother till he finishes school - my promise actually. shhhh =X

18)If the love wants held your hand , what will you do ?
Ans : look into his eyes and whisper to his ears "iloveyou,baby"

19)If the want you in love , reject you , what will you do ?
Ans : hmm, over and done with, ryt now, i haf met my soulmate. no one can ever replace him =)

20)What is your favourite character(S) ?
Ans : STITCH, tinkerbell, tigger, cookie monster, nightmare before christmas.

21)Friendship or love ?
Ans : L.O.V.E = him, friendship, family.

22)Cookie monster or elmo ?
Ans : COOKIE MONSTER!

23)Do you use laptop or computer ?
Ans : LAPTOP.

24)Do you like lollipop ?
Ans : not really. unless its a new kind.

25)Do you have a diary ?
Ans : does an organiser counter as one, mayb yes.

26)there's an admirer and wont die heart , what will you do ?
Ans : wtf. i'll stick to one, HIM.

27)If you quarrel wit your boyf / girlf , and ask for a break up , what will you do ?
Ans : i know he won't :)

28)Are you blur ?
Ans : nope. unless my mind was f**ked up.

29)If you can have your hair dye , what colour do you want it to be ?
Ans : i did anyway, peachy apricot brown.

30)Who is the last person you chatted with
Ans : ANGEL baby syg.

31)How many boyf / girlf have you beaten before ?
Ans : Countless.

32)If you boyf / girlf do not love you anymore , what will you do ?
Ans : That won't happen for now. i believe in that. =)

33)What school are you in ?
Ans : LASALLE college of the arts.

34)Taq 10 bestie or friends to do this quiz ?
Ans : Shy, Syah, Yazier, Shimy, Syarfa, Wari, Kerlyn, Haziq, RahmanJack & Liza.

2009-08-05T14:48:00.002+08:00

L.O.V.E,
my bestie, my angel, my cutie, my syg & my everything!

school is back. yeay!

i cant wait to grad.

i managed to change my class. to meet up with my time managing plan.

haha. i hope i cn cope n be a better student.

better than last year. insyaallah.

BKK trip was awesome. i wanna shop more nxt time, just for myself!

haha.

so many things to do, yet so lil time.

i miss going out with some people.

fasting mth is coming. i cant wait till it comes.

2 appointments to go. kept procastinating.

doink~

and and

2more trips coming this year, i hope!

dreams to catch.

hopes to chase.

5kg to go, and driving lessons to end.

all to be done with my cutie angel's support.

i love you to bits!

save more $$$.

i want so many things.

and a wise man once said " take things ONE AT A TIME "

=) *grins*

ok, i gtg, catch the VINCENT VANGOGH show at science center!

toodles~

happy august to everyone!

2009-07-29T16:22:00.003+08:00

less than 24hours i am flying to Bangkok, yet again.

haha.

shop shop shop!!

weeeeeee~

cant wait.

update soon~

tata.

2009-07-27T03:20:00.003+08:00

HAPPY ONE MONTHSARY TO US!
thru sad happy mad and crazy moments, i'll be there.
i wanna be the person to share these moments with you, my cutie boy!
you are my angel, bestie and my everything =)
I love you deep2.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo,
Nadia Rifhan
(Your other half )

i miss these moments!!

2009-07-27T02:59:00.002+08:00

miss these moments!
awesome!

2009-07-15T10:57:00.002+08:00

i noe ure stress abt that.
i promise, i'll be thr for u no matter what happens.
i love you. =)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

2009-07-10T00:56:00.003+08:00

everyday is a colourful times for d' both of us.

gd nite people.

i had fever the whole morning.

and that lead me to go AWOL frm work.

wtf.

i had the worst day eva for this week.

i missed being myself again.

*sigh*

"obsessed" was okay lah.

not that interesting.

times with my angel was oways been awesome.

i liiikke.

i wanna share an image i love but cant.

using mac was a lil bit hard man!

haiz.

warriiii help me!!

_runaways_

bye!

2009-07-09T01:08:00.002+08:00

it has been a colourful & blissful life w u, angel.

thank you for saving me.

thank you for loving me.

thank you for accepting me.

i wish our dreams n hopes come true.

i hope we'll be together till eternity.

aminn.

heh.

im in love, for real now =)

HAPPY 11TH BIRTHDAY IMAN!

2009-07-06T02:41:00.001+08:00

5th july 2009 : iman's 11th birthday!
so fast he's already 11!
hehe.
i remember him growing..since baby!
hehe.
so anyway, we had fun at www.
ok, wild wild wet!
wooooooooo~

2009-06-27T14:37:00.001+08:00

its over.
yes its over.
no doubt i have been hurt.
but i dun wish to be hurt again.

thank u.

2009-06-20T00:21:00.003+08:00

friday : not a good day fer me.

couldnt teach tution.
couldnt work at childcare.
couldnt go anywhere the whole afternoon!
i do not haf d'energy to do anything at all.

i injured my left arm just like that;
not knowing how or why.
i cant move my whole upper left arm n my 2 fingers.
it was extremely painful, that it made me go down w fever
and slept 4 awhile.

and i promised wari n bestie gf to meet in d'evening.
so i went to meet them.
we had fun a lil.
cos its been awhile since i met gf.

but d'truth is u noe, i was patiently waitin for my bf,
to call me.
since he was not able to at that moment.
i waited.
and waited.

i didnt expect the unexpected.
i was so eager to hear frm him.
but all i got was disappointments.
and worst, accusations & assumptions.
undesirably, wanted to be hurt or hurt him.
my emotions, fell down to my feet.
i dunno what's the agony of my arm &
"this slap on my face".

even so, i was grateful,
i managed to get a beary big hug frm him.
and then he learnt i wasnt well.
and so i went.
brokenn.

as i climb up the staircases to my home,
my mind was humming to the music i was listening to,
avenged sevenfold; seize the day.
despite the loud screaming kinda music,
my mind cant stop speaking.
reminising the words he uttered thru the sms,
and the coldness i gav to my frens who
cared abt me.
i didnt mean it.
it just me. im deprived of being the way
i am not suppose to be.
but i cant help it.
its not a small thing.
i am in fact vulnerable, wari.
i am. and the truth is u noe,
even if i can stand on my own feet,
i do nid a pillar to hold me.
to support me.
to hug me when im down.
to laugh w me.
to smile at me.

i do not expect anything else frm a loved one,
except ur love and full loyalty.
if i asked u too much, then im sorry.

"if it's wrong to do what's right, im prepared to testify,
if loving u with all my heart's a crime,
then i'm guilty." [BLUE "guilty"]

tonite, all i wanted was a good rest
and i hope tmr will b a better day..
so dun worry ok, i just wanna be alone for now.
dun ask why, what happen, etc.

sincere apologies to u,
nadia rifhan

good nite.

2009-06-17T00:31:00.003+08:00

this is me.

i may look happy on the outside.
but god knows what is inside of me.
my feelings.
my agony.
my dreams.
my hopes.
my heart.
and my soul.

how am i suppose to make everyone understand what i am , who i am?
when they kept hurting me with those hurtful and untrue words?
and
when my beloved ones are the ones who crushed this heart and just say "i'm sorry"..

im complicated, i know.

thats why, i desperately need a holiday.
i cant wait for my nxt trip.
to relieve my sorrows deep within me.
for now, i just have to be extra patient.
extra careful with the things i say or do.

anyways,
i have still been a goood loyal movie maniac.
haha. if this week, im not watching a show, then it'll be a record.
haha. i hope to catch a movie this week.

and i hope you won't cancel on me again.
insyaallah.

2-3 more days to see you. weeeeeeeee~

one.two.three.four. imy!

2009-06-16T00:24:00.004+08:00

the truth has been told.

you are a bestie i have never want to lose.
no one will understand why but to me, ure almost perfect.
for everything.

i am sorry for keeping you in the dark.
i am sorry if i ever hurt you.
its weird this feeling inside of me.
the feeling of pinch and guilt.
the apologizing that will nvr heal ur sorrows.
my happiness is yours right?
yet, i do not want to be selfish.
yet, i do not want to hurt HIM.

time will pass and we all will move on.
for now, i will keep my promise as a bestie,
that i will be there for you within my abilities in my life.
i will never leave you stranded and try not to hurt you.
thank you for being my best friend.
You will always be my D'angel.

toallmybesties,iloveyou.

saturday

2009-06-14T00:18:00.003+08:00

a wait that was just destroyed.
the hope of meeting again was gone.
i was sooooooooo disappointed, i started to worry.
broke down and cried.

thank GOD i haf ppl ard me to support and bring me up.

I m having fever todae.
and yet haf to work.
*sigh*
i miss him so badly.

and i miss angel too.

i hope tmr is a better day for me and you.

2009-06-13T23:55:00.001+08:00

13th june 09 : the day ain n me cant forget..
doink.
but had fun taking pics w our own trolleyboys!
hahaha..

fun~
weeeeeeee!

im so disappointed. -_-

un-pretty tuesday

2009-06-09T14:01:00.003+08:00

090609 : nice date but un-pretty tuesday

today marks the first day working at childcare after a week not working.
and thr's a diff situation happening thr ryt now.
diff allocations, diff attitudes and diff stresses.
and i m one of the victim.
started since morning.
and i do not deserve to b treated that way.
**shuts my mouth**

sometimes i wonder, whether i am really that bad.
everything i do, wont make people happy.
but the people i love or close with works out fine with me no matter what happens.

someone once said i am a fake, selfish, not pure, liar, pathetic etc person.
thanks for the remarks.
i have given up on making people happy.
let me b alone.
i wanted to express more but my heart are too numb to even say anything.

and i too miss my daddy.
the only person / reason why i am alive now.
he kept me going on.
and i knew how lil'est brother felt about this.
i understood too.
i am lucky to spent 8 years of my life with him.
and up till now, i couldn't figure out why i can't be happy in life even if i looked like i am.

to be frank, i am down with alot of debts.
with alot of responsibilities and sometimes i find myself useless.
useless to move on, to live and to be a workaholic.
U.S.E.L.E.S.S seriously.
even useless to make other people.
like what i am?
who i am?
i am a NOBODY.
who is extremely pathetic!
haha. this is a blog so means i express what i felt.
and maybe, i should get myself closer to GOD now.
no one can understand me except him.
and my daddy must be with him.
so here i am kneeling down n my knees praying.
"i am sorry for every wrongs i did all these while and please give me strength to move on with my life."

aminn

just so you know, i am no longer the same "nadia" anymore.
i've changed and you may not expect this but i will not care anymore.
only 3 things in life now that are important.
ALLAH. FAMILY. AMBITION.
-he will always be there when you need or don't need him
-family will never leave you. even if they did hurt you.
-i wanna be a successful designer, and prove the world, this NADIA existed.

i'm sorry but i do not want to bother about the rest.
im tired.
and im useless for all that now.
think whatever you wanna think.
i do not care.

sincere apologies.

take care.

icantbelievemyheartturnnumbbecauseyoufrozeitwiththosewordsyouthrewatme.

retail therapy w warrrii

2009-06-06T23:48:00.002+08:00

05 june 09 : retail therapy w warrriii anak!

weeeeeee~

frm 2pm till 8pm we shopped!

and the best part is...

jeng3..

frm citylink to ps!

we had lunch at thai express!

very nice tom yummmmy~

and sweetly, wari got me a belated bdae gift!

the stitch bolster!!

yeay! now the "pink angel" got partner!

and

annnnnnnnd

i finally got a BIG STITCH!!

awwwwwwww wari was extremely sweet!

thank u anak! =)

met him at nite.
and

i blew up!

ishhk.

2009-06-06T23:28:00.001+08:00

RANDOMZ!!
images i ought to post!
since last year.
oopsy!
randomz..
toodlless!!

updates!

2009-06-03T23:58:00.001+08:00

last day met hazziq!
one of the days last weeek we met hazziq last minute for a karaoke session
i was stressed.
doinkz.
miss u hazziq!

2nd june 09 : at ps

ryan korkor waited for me to end work.

heeez!

we had fun.

camwhored. weeeeeeee~

miss the last time moments we had.

hmph.

2009-05-21T01:28:00.003+08:00

last update omg~~
a month and 18 days ago!!
haha.
ok, i'll update the images soon ya!

anyway,
happy 18th birthday to my lovely gf, SYARFA!
may all ur dreams come true.
and ur present end of d month k?

hehe.
update abt my life.
umm, currently, i lost all my contacts in my phonebook cos my phone has to b repaired.
its crazy cos it happens twice n i didnt learn my lesson to save them into my SIM card.
how stupid cn i be?
haha.
so yeah, text me asap n tell me its u k?
S.O.R.R.Y

anyways,
update abt my life.
i haf been so busy lately.
work n work n work.
and lately, i am a freaking movie maniac!!
extremely siow~
haha.
and i m seeing a guy who loves me soooooooooooo much.
and yet i havent been replying to him the same way he does.
its not easy to get over the past but i sooooooooooo wanted to move on with him.
hmm..
i m glad u came into my life.
u nvr fail to make me happy.
thank u GOD.
btw,
we r not officially together tho we do love each other.
heh.
C.O.M.P.L.I.C.A.T.E.D

so here i end.
"night at the museum 2" here i come!!
weeeeeeeeeeeee~

i misss li heng so badly.
andactuallyHIM.

annnnd maxxx.
whr r u max?

hmm..

goodnite,ipromisei'llbethepersonyoulovemeas.

HAPPY 29TH BDAY MY ANGEL!

2009-04-02T02:56:00.004+08:00

It's late and i still havent sleep yet.
Was bz doin everything perfect and guess what? i gav up halfway n wanted to cry.
but i decided to do it all over again.
and thr~ viola! i end at 1.30am!!
wth.

2nd april 2009: My bestie's rahman 29th birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU MY ANGEL!

i wanted to update abt almost everything.

my schlife: 15th april are my assessment, i just needed to do a nice portfolio n finish my last project. so 13 more days to go!

my everyday life: it has been the same, school n 3 jobs. good thing after 15 april, its my holiday!

my worklife: carrefour is more than hectic now. we all suffer together and i dunno what else to say! go with the flow then. and every1 changed! EVERYONE.

my lovelife: i hav been trying to get over the past, but it aint easy just by saying it.
doin it is far more complex. and then "he" was thr for me. shower me with nice beautiful words to change my heart. and then xpressions came. everything changed. and so does my heart. it was nice to finally stand up again. and then a few days back, it happened exactly the same life i had with the past. and i hate it. i dunno y it has to happen to me again. it was so perfect n then things happen, complicated n complex. i just dunno what to feel now...
im sorry if it didnt make me realise earlier. but now its too late. i hav to swallow it for the 2nd time. and be stronger. and after this i just wanna say sorry if i will change my ways. its just the way i am, to be stronger. i dun hope for anything anymore. its over. and i will just go on w my normal life. Concentrate with getting my dreams. and yeah, may u be happy ok...?

my birthday: 16 more days!

april to look forward to:
-meet max anytime soon
-11th~van's 18th bdae
-11th~the outing
-13th~syu's 24th bdae
-15th~assessment
-18th~my 23rd burfday

good luck to u n me.

iloveyoumaxandeveryone

2009-02-25T11:28:00.003+08:00

i m heartbroken;;

nothing much to explain just pieces of me to be mended again.
i suddenly began to think about my future.
and wats best for me.
so pray for me ya.

i love u guys!

imissmaxnizamvanessashymikeand youuuuu.

2009-02-17T10:25:00.001+08:00

TODAE IS CAROLE'S BDAE!
HAPPY 58TH BIRTHDAY TO U!

yesterdae : 16th feb : we dine at seoul garden
ppl are : nadya hidayah wari azdhar carole mike siti aisyah n syuhada
we had fun!
definitely~

2009-02-11T22:39:00.004+08:00

FEBRUARY 2009 : nvr been better

okay, i admit.
it was my fault all these happenings nvr end.
i just want to b stronger.
tats all.
having 3 jobs n a full time student wasnt easy but im glad i get this now.
cos i noe i dun want to suffer in the future.
and and i will get my time occupied to b dwelling n thinking abt bad situations.
the reason y work 3 jobs r not only becos of $$$
but also becos they needed me to help out.
tats y.
and i couldnt say "no" to kids n teaching a student who needs thorough help in her studies.
so dun get me wrong.

my love life : no comments

my friendship w others : awesome
i love all my friends very much.

and i wanna get my life straight this time.
insyaallah.

family wise : normal
only i've been missing my cousins alot.

schwise: hmm, been keeping up with my schworks which wasnt tat bad.
im left w 2 a3 size paintings to do n then im done.
tho i hav to do more research. heh.

childcare: the kids r getting better w the environment tho thr r some few kids still cry. heh.
and i've got so many clingy kids too.
names r : wan qing,joyce. lim li heng. ho yi xun. shashi. seah yeo. etc. haha.
they r all soooo cute!!!

i love my life now.
mike is back. but he's searching for a new job.
poor him; oways job hunting.
wat to do..?
praying for him tho.

everyone's trying to get their life back on track n i began to worry a lil.
i hope it wun affect me, esp. the ppl whom i love.
life is so full of "things".

hah!
may all of us, pull thru one day.
insyaallah.
amin.

to : nizam, max and the rest whom i long time nvr meet :
I MISS YOU!!

finally i see max!

2009-02-02T10:13:00.001+08:00

01 feb 09 : the day i finally see max~
went with liza.
haha.
max is so happy that day!!
woohoo~

miss him already.

2009-01-15T03:04:00.003+08:00

LIFE; its no fun anymore.

i dislike my january actually.
.school
..1st job
..2nd job
...3rd job
....friends
.....relationship

who can cope all these that im goin thru?
only GOD know s how i feel ryt now.

i wanna succeed ok. i want to.
so pls january pls go away asap!
im extremely worried abt my future.
u haf no idea what im talking abt.
its crazy, but i m the sort who cant disappoint anyone at all; its harder to do than said.

its been a month since i saw mike.
and i miss him like hell.
counting down to the days till he comes back.
15 more days!!
pls come back asap.
i so need u dearest cucumber.

chalet planning is hectic.
nobody seems to care.
and i haf to do the job with a few help tho.
thanks to rahman n wariie.
at least they r thr with me.

besties are no longer existing in my life.
its ironic but i began to feel nothing abt it.
the fact is, i haf love them eventho they r a distance frm me.
but i juz cant accept how im treated.
if i was special, then prove it, damnit!

if im treated like shit, i dun giv a damn.
i will either ignore u or i will rebel.
im sorry but i dun deserve to be treated like s***.
PLS say like u mean it.

btw todae marks the 5th year i've worked in carrefour.
time past very fast n thr's so many things i cant seem to forget.
bad, good, happy n sad etc.

im so happy to see max's pics.
he seems so happy. im glad he is.
at least for a long time now.
tho i've read abt his sickness again, its extremely hard to accept the fact that he suffers frm it.
but we all haf to pray for him.
its ok if both parents dun want to do the bone marrow.
cos i noe how they felt.
they rather spend the rest of max's time in this world then take the risk n what happen after that, only GOD knows.
Thanks leila, for being thr for them.
im glad u nvr fail to be thr for them, be their friend when they r in need etc.
if only i could b thr too, i would.

but seriously, i think im not needed so yeah.
-it's okay-

ur happiness is mine too.

ryt now : im sad, devastated, stress, sleepy, tired and hurt.
PLS DO NOT ASK ME WHY.

good morning people!!

amiabadpersonthatihavetofacealltheseatONEtime?

Diantara Kalian by D'MASIV

2008-12-26T23:24:00.005+08:00

Diantara Kalian by D'MASIV

ku akui ku sangat
sangat meninginkan mu
tapi kini ku sadar, ku diantara kalian

aku tak mengerti
ini semua harus terjadi

ku akui ku sangat
sangat mengharapkan mu
tapi kini ku sadar, ku tak akan bisa

aku tak mengerti
ini semua harus terjadi

chorus:
lupakan aku
kembali padanya
aku bukan siapa-siapa untukmu
ku cintaimu
tak bererti bahwa
ku harus memilikimu selamanya

ahh ahh

ku akui ku sangat
sangat meninginkan mu
tapi kini ku sadar, ku diantara kalian

aku tak mengerti
ini semua harus terjadi

chorus:
lupakan aku
kembali padanya
aku bukan siapa-siapa untukmu
ku cintaimu
tak bererti bahwa
ku harus memilikimu selamanya

oooh aku tak mengerti
ini semua harus terjadi

chorus:
lupakan aku
kembali padanya
aku bukan siapa-siapa untukmu
ku cintaimu
tak bererti bahwa
ku harus memilikimu selamanya
*repeat*

ahhhh
ahhhh

**the only song that suit my situation now,
only GOD knows how i feel all these while and at this moment**

we finally met NIZAM

2008-12-26T22:57:00.003+08:00

26 DEC 08 : we finally met NIZAMUDDIN!

my bro : syu's bro : wari's buddy
haha
he served the civil defence since 9 dec.
urgh.
so we missed him alot!
met him at jp.
the 3 of us : me, syuhada n wari.

dinner at pizza hut.
"light dinner" yet hunger greeted us in so many ways.
and then the serves were cleaned.
woohoo~
bill : abt $45

movie at jp : 7pm

title: BEDTIME STORIES

awesome ok!

we enjoyed every moment of it.

what could i say, adam sandler was really a great guy, actor.

b4 the movie we bought some junk foods frm ntuc xtra.

i love the ntuc xtra cos its 24hours.

woohoo!

anyway, jp now is like the nxt vivo.
only, vivo is much more bigger.
oh well, its crowded nowadays.
and i haf to admit, i hate it so much.
hard to move around, even goin to the mrt station.
crap!

so anyway, we had a great evening just now.
i hope u too.im gonna work 6 days straight till nxt thurs.
good luck to me.doink~
the money matters alot since im starting school in a week's time.
gosh~ im nervous but sch havent send me the timetable.
i want it ASAP man.

good nite, i need my rest now
toodles =)

iknowitmaysoundcrazy;butitstruemydearest.

2008-12-23T17:30:00.003+08:00

23rd dec 08: tuesday

home alone.
cooked.
ate.
rested.
okay, it was a boring day.
but the purpose of this entry is to express wat im thinkin n feelin all these while esp. NOW!

right,
so..here goes :

1. im on a week MC.
2. i miss my micheal de mesa.
3. i do not bliv in having a real best friend anymore. (if u noe wat i mean)
4. i want to b in school asap.
5. i want to reach my dreams asap.
6. i miss my dad now.
7. i still do love him very much.
8. i know what love means now. (frm my point of view)
9. i do not wait upon anyone anymore.
10. i do not care if you are gonna hurt me from now onwards.
11. i would like to apologise to some people in my life.
12. i would like to thank some people in my life.
13. i miss my brother, nizam, very much.
14. NEW YEAR resolutions coming right up.
15. special mentions to : Nizam, Yaz, Danial, Mike, Carole, Patawari, Syuhada, Hazziq, Eiryanie, Hafiz, Ghouse, Shyairah, Jack, Athirah, Max, Hidayah, Azdhar, Little talent kids, Shida, Shima, My BIG family, mum, cik osman etc.

i feel much much better now.
and it would be great if u keep ur thots to urself.
yeah, i mean it.
take care people.
blogging in soon......

18 nov 08 : AFTER stocktake

2008-11-18T14:13:00.000+08:00

after the annual stocktake which was crappy,
we all went home together.
it was fun!
but exhausted n i wasn't feeling well that day.
haiz.
i got high fever after that.
doink!

12 nov 08 : mike's 31st bdae

2008-11-13T23:59:00.000+08:00

micheal dah tua!!
haha.
happy birthday dearest darling mike!
helped alot with the party.
hmph, so many food!
and we can party till 10pm only.
so lame!
haha.
so we had fun~

3 nov ktv with c4rians~ FUN!

2008-11-04T11:32:00.000+08:00

2008-10-30T22:47:00.001+08:00

30th oct 08 : random at work

deepavali

2008-10-28T22:34:00.001+08:00

27th oct 08 : DEEPAVALI 08

2008-10-24T23:16:00.000+08:00

24th oct 08 : the day i took over kl
working with the kids is oways fun.
love them too bits~ heh.

2008-10-22T23:15:00.001+08:00

and vanessa ~ i did for you the fan thingy.
simple ryt?
hehe.
hope u like it
*hugs*

2008-10-22T22:55:00.005+08:00

21st oct 08 : met up with my sis, van n her peep, khai.
funny guy.
we talked like we've each other for years!~
haha. can click. doink!
fun time~

monday wooot~

2008-10-21T00:10:00.000+08:00

monday : off day : 20th oct 08
met the bestie gf at ps.
redeemed the super duper nice choc chip drink frm starbucks.
heh.
went bugis.
window shopped; and shopped A LIL TOO.

hehe.
and then uncle fetched me n we went to ayer rajah food centre to celebrate my cousin's bdae.
my treat :)
this is the bdae boy-
13th this year.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY IRFAN!! =)

iman
me
the rojakz
the cheese pratas
ila n iman
cik is

had fun even tho its a short period of time.
woohoo~

imissyoulikecrazydarling

hari raya with the c4rians

2008-10-20T09:06:00.004+08:00

nineteenth oct 08 : carrefourians hari raya outing
AWESOME!
and happening! i love~

18th day of hari raya

2008-10-19T22:42:00.000+08:00

18th day of hari raya : my uncle ( pak busu's) open house
however, i took only lil pics with my cam. the rest with my cousin's cams.
haha.
very tired n LAZY.

carrefour dnd 08

2008-10-16T23:42:00.008+08:00

15th oct 08 : 2nd day of c4 dnd.
lame. and wat i wore makes me look fat n ugly. haha
haha.
but we had MORE fun after that!
weeeeeee~

random

2008-10-13T23:07:00.000+08:00

on the thirteenth of oct 08 : i craved for fish n co.
haha so me, syu n hazziq went to the nearest fish n co frm ps.
haha.
awesome~ im contented. very lah! =)

bbss raya outing

2008-10-11T23:49:00.000+08:00

saturday: 11 oct 08
BBSS RAYA OUTING.
fun~

miss u guys~

5th day hari raya~

2008-10-05T23:42:00.000+08:00

5th day hari raya : 5th oct 08
i love my outfit~
oranggggggggggggeeeeee
anyway headed to van's house then to my other big family houses.
haha.

sheila's fav.cookies!
she can gobble up everything!
haha.

yaz posed.

me n sheila cuzzy.
me n nabila craziiiiie~
the 3 of us camwhored leiii~
woooooot.

it was fun.

got collection also.

haha.

who says im too big to haf green packets?

haha.

so anyway, enjoyed.

good nite~

darlinnnnnnnnnnng - hugs

2nd day hari raya!

2008-10-02T22:59:00.000+08:00

2nd day hari raya : went out with my family.

hmm.

by taxi wor~

uncle othman drove us around!